I’ve had constant pain, constant hurt and I can’t stop feeling angry all the time and I finding myself in my car every morning chanting to myself…
“put you fake smile one, plaster it to your face… Keep your voice stead – ignore your insides burning… You have make up on – so hide your tease, keep them hidden as much as you can…” then when I stop my car I look in the mirror and see the results, I’m now ready for the day… or am I really?
The energy and persistence I need for the day is nonexistent today, and I fear this will trickle off and effect the next few day of my life. My mind has been racing for such a long time that I had the shocking revelation… I’ve been “hanging in there” for such a long time now and it just feels as though I’m losing my grip finger for finger for finger on my life… I need help?
This Life thing really teaches you new things. When you are young and look at what is happening around you and you observe the relationship around you, you always want to learn from them. You tell yourself that you won’t let that happen to you or that you won’t make that decision that the person made. Yet as you go through you life and you relationships (partner or friends) you find yourself going down similar paths and you really get horrified by yourself for allowing it to happen to you too. In you attempt to avoid these paths you seem to stumble on them anyway. This makes me wonder if that isn’t what life is all about… actually thinking about it now… if I didn’t observe this path I wouldn’t have noticed I’m on it and get off… Does that make sense?
Energy
Persistence
A smile
Patience
Acceptance
Tolerance
A morning check list to make sure you start your day in the right way… and of course your cup of coffee… and a smoke
What I’ve learnt in the last week… negotiating your feelings is not an option.
Neen
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