Rejection, Losing, Love

'Love doesn’t hurt, loneliness and rejection hurts, but not love.' A friend of mine posted this statement I had to read this and think about this intently…  

Love does hurt - at times you love someone so much that you hurt when they hurt. Or it hurts when you can't be with them. Love is hard too... its hard work to keep a relationship working. It’s worth it too. Do not find your happiness in love though. Just be happy with yourself. The rest will come automatically when you are comfortable with yourself. When you can look in the mirror and honestly say, you like/love what you see.

 I’m sorry if this offends, but through my life (and there's been ALOT of life experienced in mine so far)

I've learnt that REJECTION is a reflection a person insecurities, not of your own - therefore don't feel bad about someone rejecting you ~ clearly they have issues with themselves. Rejection happens when there are other things in a person’s life that they don’t want to include you in. Maybe they just don’t know what they want and therefore don’t want to involve you in that or just want to use you. This is not your fault, allowing them to use you; that’s a different story entirely. Persistence with a person that’s rejected you might develop into a great friendship, one that comes with much understanding… because if you learn to communicate and talk to the person that’s rejecting you and you actually listen… you might find their soul. IF you yourself; am strong enough to deal with it.

 LOSING someone hurts like hell (hell is an understatement but going into this is just a tragedy in on its own) but learn the lesson. This is the most important thing to remember. From personal experience, it makes you stronger wiser and makes you appreciate your partner a lot more. It also makes you more compassionate and forgiving... if you don't learn that lesson - you become bitter, angry, bitchy... On the flip side, it can make you soft and someone’s rag doll/ punching bag/ servant.  Everyone has a weak moment in life but there is no excuse to become your own martyr. Again it comes down to self respect and acceptance. Yes losing someone is tough. Whether you break up, get divorced or someone dies. It’s all part of loss. You have lost someone. A part of their soul which was entwined in yours gets ripped at (I say AT and not OUT because you’ll always have a part of their soul with you, we made that way) and it saddens you when you remember them/ see them.  We were made so spectacularly that we are able to Love and care for more than one person at a time. That’s why we can love our parents, children, and friends and have compassion and empathise with other people.

LOVE oh love. There is a saying that says something like: Love with all your heart, fully and don’t hold back. Love as if you've never been hurt before... When I was young I was scared a lot about love. I wasn’t sure what it meant. I scared to be hurt… and because of that, I got hurt. Then I met someone that loved me, really loved me (so I thought). I was still very young – looking back now – but he showed me what is was to accept and love someone without judgement, man he taught me a lot about this thing called love. I learnt a lot from him and watching friends go through their own relationships. I made a crucial mistake too and I listened to people and not my heart and mind. Today I still battle with my walls and barriers I put up after this. To protect myself it took me a while to open my heart fully again. I’m still learning as I so often state. The bottom line with Love you need to be cautious but not cold and rigid; caring and understanding; open and honest and most importantly - don't be careless with your heart or careless with someone else’s.

So here we are again, and hasn’t life taught me some amazing things.

There's no such thing as perfect people or perfect life. Everyone has a bit broken  or scarred.

 Be who you are accept who you are. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s part of life.

Forgive those whom have hurt you and when you find that one person that you can love unconditionally and loves you back – Tell them, Show them, Love them, Cherish them. Life is too short to not be with them.  When you say the words I love you – mean it!

Neen